Belated Christmas Story

I just remembered a wonderful story about Christmas this year (2007).

As we all know Christmas is the time for caring and sharing things with one's family. Things like putting up and decorating the tree.

What could be more suited to a pair of borderline obsessive compulsive perfectionist nuts like Dad and myself than... separating the silver from the gold lametta (angel's hair).

You see, our colour scheme for this year was white, blue and silver. We had silver lametta, but all of it was mixed in with the gold. And gold would have totally destroyed the colour scheme. So, what was the only solution? Separation... strand... by... bloody... strand.

Why they were put together to start with I shall never know (although it was probably my brilliant idea at the time). In Dad's words: "I mean... WHO DOES such a thing?"

The Trail

So this evening at dusk I was walking around the fire trail which separates the houses from the national heritage park in our suburb. Seeing the kangaroos pop up their heads I was suddenly overcome by the absolute tranquility of it all and (I know this is cliche but...) how lucky we are.

I, a young female, was walking alone, with low light and I felt perfectly SAFE. I overtook another older man and we greeted each other.

It made me think of places where you would have to be conscious that any moment someone could come out of the bushes and kidnap you etc. Places that wouldn't be safe for a female to walk alone without male company. Places that you need to travel in groups.

I just felt lucky.

Entropy

I used to be slightly (where slightly actually means majorly) obsessive compulsive about my housework and having my apartment clean. I'm not just talking tidying here, I mean full on scrub the shower, dust every surface (even the door frames - it's surprising how much dust gets caught up there), vacuum etc. It was like every weekend I would have a list of 10 things I must do and wouldn't feel complete for the upcoming week unless they were all done.

You'll notice I'm using past tense. My apartment used to be spotless. I used to care.

Now though, I sit here practically in a pile of junk and contemplate cleaning, but it is all too hard. That or I am just too lazy. I mean, there are so many more wonderful things I could be doing, like surfing the internet for some awesome new video clips... for example.

I also should mention then that I used to be doing courses at Uni and my options were housework or homework. Obviously, we have established which of the two I preferred completing. Having recently graduated, the options have now become housework or anything else I can think of more enjoyable.

*sigh* What have I become...

It's late and this is probably funnier now than it will be later...

I was surfing the net and on FOB's blog I found a really fun (ok really might be an overstatement but meh) game/thing to waste time.

Basically, I had a conversation with iTunes (No, I'm not crazy :P) I set it on random and asked a question. Once I asked a question I skipped to the next song which would be the answer...

Here is what I got:

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Q: will I meet a guy like pete wentz/brendon urie/matthew good/teddy geiger that gives me that instant *i really like you* moment...
A: everybody's fool

Q: will I meet anyone
A: we will rock you

Q: so am i doomed to be single
A: breathe

(didn't like that answer so clicked again)
A: impossible
(yes)

Q: Will I go to england for a PhD
A: Muhammad my friend

Q: Will I go to Canada
A: when I look at the world

Q: Will I go overseas
A: With you in your dreams

Q: Will I stay in UQ
A: the way we get by

(but I don't want to just get by)

Q: How about Canberra
A: maria maria

(my name is not maria)

Q: Australia
A: On your shore

(damn it no!)

Q: So how do I go overseas
A: she turns me on

Q: You mean I have to be gay?
A: love soon

Q: But I like guys too much to be gay
A: please

Q: Hahaha, no seriously... I REALLY like guys
A: Till tomorrow

Q: Is there any other way to do my PhD overseas?
A: Crying in Denial

(I think my iTunes is biased... onto another subject)

Q: Am I addicted to the internet?
A: Evening Falls...

Q: Yes, evening falls and? Finish your sentence...
A: Love 4 fun

ahahaha

Q: Am I happy?
A: Gotta get thru this

Q: Ok, I think I'm gonna end this. Has this been as fun for you as it has for me?
A: In Bloom

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A year later...

So I have finished my honours degree in Chemistry. Wow.

I must say honours year is the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought I had been stressed before, but no, that was nothing. PhD students have been telling me that honours is harder than a PhD, and I'm not going to be one to disagree.

Actually it would make sense that it is more stressful. While you are probably doing more difficult and multifaceted work with a PhD, the honours year is chock-full of learning, and a lot of doing things for the first time. For example:

Learning -
laboratory equipment usage
lab book recording (including IP stuff)
safety, safety, safety
how to write a research proposal
research skills
the hypothesis -> experiment -> revise hypothesis cycle
reading papers
writing scientifically
interaction with other researchers
time handling and prioritising
how to be a prac tutor
Thesis writing

... and I'm sure I've left out some

But I am so glad that I did it. Now I have to figure out the next step! :)

Honours time

So you know how I was stressing at the end of last semester?... well it was pretty much for nothing cos I went out with a bang and got straight 7's (HD's) - woohoo!

So I decided to do honours in Chemistry. It was largely due to there being a major focus on research work as opposed to math where you still have to do 5 subjects (and hence 5 exams, and I'm so over exams).

I'm absolutely loving honours. You get treated totally different to a lowly undergrad, and I get my own desk and computer. Everyone in the Chemistry building is so lovely, I just feel a part of a big family. So I think chem was the right choice.

I still need to learn to chill a little though. I get a bit worked up over thing sometimes. I need to find that balance between research and pracwork, but I guess it might be something you continually work at.

I got my research proposal marks back today (7 - yay!) and I've done my intro seminar, so I have nothing besides preacwork for the rest of semester - and I'm trying to get into a routine. We'll see how that goes...

x

Procrastinate

Avoid, evade, eschew, dodge, parry, sidestep, quibble, stall, prevaricate... yep I'd say that adequately describes my life at the moment .

*sigh*

Why is it when you need to study for exams there are always so many other things that *must* be done? I really should actually be excited about studying for this exam - it's my last one of my undergraduate degree, ever...

and yet...

Perhaps its that I'm just so sick of studying. I've been at it for 5 years, and I'm going to start honours in 4 weeks, which I will actually need to start researching as soon as I finish my exams, so no break other than no classes. Sometimes, I just think why the hell am I doing this if I'm not enjoying it so much?

I'd love to just go overseas and help build a village in Africa or save the rainforest in Brasil or something, and then come back, do art, write novels and poetry, open a small quirky cafe and enjoy the rest of my life.

But what if I end up getting sick of that too?

I want to wake up and enjoy every single day. But somedays you just can't because there is so much to do. There is no time to think of anything other than what has to be done.

And then I think: "What's the point of it all if I'm just gonna die in the end anyway?"

I guess better as to do it as to not.

Dropped it.

Was becoming waaaay too stressed, so I dropped the 4th level (honours level) math subject.